My Love Affair with Sleep-Deprivation.

Ahh. Exhaustion, we have known each other for some time now. You have been with me night and day, through thick and thin, and yet...I am thinking something is missing from our relationship. Oh, yes...That's right. Rest. I have been missing our old friend, Rest. After that falling out that the two of you had, Rest really hasn't come around much anymore. I would really enjoy spending some time with Rest right about now. It's not that I don't love you, Exhaustion...In fact, I really thrive when you are around. I am able to multi-task like a strung-out, hallucinating tweeker when you are with me. Granted, I don't seem to accomplish any of said multi-tasks with much attention to quality (that whole, if you're gonna do it, do it right thing just goes right out the window), but it's really amazing the quantity of things I attempt to do.

You have helped me achieve just the right pitch when I am screaming that only dogs can hear...I believe this to be true, because my children certainly don't seem to hear me...

Exhaustion, since you are here I might as well thank you! Thank you for helping me realize that showers really aren't necessary when the alternative is an extra 10 minutes of sleep. And although I know you really do begrudge me that little bit of time I spend with Rest, it is you who goes to Starbucks with me. Every morning. Who is by my side when I deliberate whether or not to wear a bra to Starbucks? No one other than you, Exhaustion. And really, what better way to start my local Barista's day than with the lovely vision of me...No shower, no bra, no Rest. Isn't it great the way we are always thinking of others?

I am certain that my co-workers enjoy having you come to work with me, Exhaustion...Although they have not said it in so many words, I know that when you are with me it really makes their day brighter. It has been suggested that I can be assertive and argumentative, but I know that when you are with me, I just don't care to argue. Really then, don't we all win? And the amounts of company bought coffee that you and I go through is mind-boggling. With Rest, I would have never consumed those copious quantities of caffeine, and where is the fun in that?!

But lately, Exhaustion, I have grown concerned about the direction our relationship is headed. I am worried that you have grown too...lets just say...co-dependant. It's almost as if you couldn't exist without me, and that's just scary. Plus, I think Mark might be on to us. When he comes to bed at night, and I explain that I am too tired to talk, I know he wonders if we have been together. I don't want to lie to him anymore, Exhaustion. Yes, I know that he has spent a lot of time with his beer drinking buddies, Frustration and Temper-Tantrum, but he has assured me that those days are behind him (although now that I think about it, I am beginning to wonder if all of those late-night phone calls are from Temper-Tantrum...). All he can do is try, Exhaustion. All he can do is try...

I guess what I am trying to say is that I can't be a part of this relationship anymore. It is just too difficult for me to live this way. I know it always goes back to Rest, but I really need Rest in my life. I am sorry if you feel betrayed, but I just know there is someone else out there that will nurture you the way I did. No, no...Don't cry...I know that when it comes to break-ups, Exhaustion, you make everything seem 100 times worse than it actually is...So, I'll make a deal with you...I will meet you ONE MORE TIME at Starbucks. Tomorrow, 8:00 am. But then that's it, Exhaustion. You will be out of my life for good.

And, no...I will not meet you without my bra.