Can One Live on Fruit Roll-Ups Alone? I Think the Answer You Are Looking For is...NO!

My children want to eat nothing but crap. They want to eat crap in the morning, crap in the afternoon, and crap at night. In between their regularly scheduled, pseudo-healthy meals, they want to snack on...you guessed it, crap. I would like to believe that most little kids are like this, but I have seen other people's children eating healthy food without so much as a cross, sidelong glance from the attending parent. So, I am thinking it's just mine. And I don't really know how we got to this point...well, actually I do know, but Mark has enough guilt in his life as it is...So, this morning, after our daily 15 minute cuddle session in the bed, Isabella expressed a desire for breakfast. She said she wanted Toaster Strudel. I know that Toaster Strudel is just plain bad, but I am not capable of cooking a complete breakfast every morning, so get over it. I mostly like to make breakfast for dinner, and that is because I am not capable of cooking a complete dinner every evening. (you can see how this vicious cycle perpetuates, right? Right.) So, I dutifully made the Toaster Strudel and Isabella dutifully licked off all the frosting and decided she didn't want the remainder of the pastry. She then requested a piece of cinnamon toast. She licked off all the cinnamon, and didn't want the bread. This was followed by a request for a fruit roll-up and then for a granola bar (before you get excited, it had chocolate chips). Yes, I let her have them. I am a baaaad Mommy.

Believe it or not, I actually work very hard to provide healthy food/snack choices for the girls. There is always fresh fruit in the fridge and Isabella’s favorite cracker is the Triscuit, and although I too love the Triscuit, it is much like eating a basket. I have committed to cooking dinner every night for the girls, (even though some nights, like tonight, dinner = breakfast) to avoid falling in to the dreaded Kid Cuisine rut, and I will call Mark two (maybe three) times a day to find out what he has fed the girls for lunch. Generally, I am unimpressed.

Despite all of my efforts, I encounter tears (TEARS, for Pete's sake) over denying them chocolate, gummy worms, and my personal favorite, spraying Redi-Whip directly in to their mouths. When did having these things become normal? Even now, at 10:00 pm, my oldest daughter is standing in the hallway begging me to rewind the Addams Family themed dark chocolate M&M's commercial. That's just sad. So, we are focusing on making snacks the exception, not the rule. I actually blame all of this on my Mother. Partly because she is not here to defend herself against this liable, but also because it's true! When Amelia was younger, we could not (COULD NOT) go out to eat with out the obligitory ice cream dessert...regardless of how much nutritional food was eaten during the meal, there was always dessert. My Mom would justify this by stating "it's because Abba is visiting". Well, Abba...You're not here right now, and I am still expected to pony up the dessert! Why? Why would you do this to me? Oh, that's right...I remember now. I have suddenly flashed back to my youth, sitting in my room pouring Pixi Stix in my mouth and chasing it with Dr. Pepper...Mmmm. I remember the rush when the fizzy goodness hit the back of my tongue, the excitement over getting the next fix, the panic when I realized all the Pixi Stix were gone!! Shit, now I am hungry.

Well, I gotta go now, there is some Ben & Jerry's in the freezer, calling my name. And although Abba isn't here right now, she is out there somewhere, and she says eating ice cream is okay...even if you don't eat a proper dinner. Thanks Abba. I'll do that.