Are You Gonna Die??

Originally Blogged on 6/23/2008

Amelia's favorite thing to ask me these days is, "are you gonna die"?

It's a very tricky question, one that requires a whole helluva lot of thought from the respondant. However, when coming from Amelia, it is usually not phrased in such a way that a simple answer will not reveal itself rather quickly...For example, take tonights inquiry...

I was at the lake a few weeks ago with family. I got a mild sunburn on my shins (yah, I know that's retarded). My shins are now peeling a little, and Isabella noticed while she and Amelia were in the bath. She asked, "Mommy, why are your legs peeling"? I answered, "because Mommy got a sunburn", to which Amelia interjected, "ARE YOU GONNA DIE"???? From there the conversation deteriorated rather quickly. "Well, no Amelia, I am not going to die from this sunburn", I said. "In fact, Mommy's legs are peeling because new skin had grown where the old skin got a little burned, and so the old skin is peeling off". "Well, what if the skin didn't grow back", Amelia asked. "Honey, the skin will always grow back, that is what skin does". I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HERE!! But no, I am the Mom whose children refer to themselves and others in anatomically correct ways. Amelia will dutifully inform me if her vagina (not hoo-ha, not polly, not privates...vagina) is vexing her in some way, and Isabella (just the other day) encountered her Daddy in the bathroom and declared, "Daddy, I don't like your penis". So, you can see how this is going to go, right?

So I continued, "Well, I guess the skin wont grow back if you get burned really badly". "I mean, you never want to play too closely to the grill, or play with matches, cause you could catch on fire and burn your skin right off". At this point, Amelia is horrified. She asks me, "what do you do if your skin burns off"? "Well", I tell her, "First doctors take you to the Shriner's Hospital, and there they take skin from any part of your body that didn't get burned, like your butt, and use it to make new skin". "Skin from your BUTT"? Amelia didn't like that idea, and here is why...According to her, the skin on her butt is not as tan as the skin on the rest of her body, and thusly, would be unacceptable for use. Then, she asked, "what's a Shriner".

"They wear crazy hats". I said.

"And they ride on camels". I added.

"But remember, Amelia, we always want to wash our hands if we pet or ride on camels, because sometimes they can carry germs that we don't want to get"...

"ARE WE GONNA DIE"????