Isabella's Expletives.

Expletive: The word expletive comes from the Latin verb explere, meaning "to fill", via expletivus, "filling out". It was introduced into English in the seventeenth century to refer to various kinds of padding — the padding out of a book with peripheral material, the addition of syllables to a line of poetry for metrical purposes, and so forth. Use of expletive for such a meaning is now rare. Rather, expletive is a term in linguistics for a meaningless word filling a syntactic vacancy (syntactic expletives). Outside linguistics, the word is much more commonly used to refer to "bad language". Some linguists use it to refer to meaningless, "filler" use of "bad language" ("expletive attributives"), distinguishing this from meaningful use.

Thanks Wikipedia.

So, referring to my giant ass as being expletive might have been okay in the seventeenth century, but now it will just get you a punch in the nose. Today we are exploring the secondary usage of the word, and how it relates to the world of Isabella.

Some of Isabella's expletives (verbatim. I am NOT exaggerating, people...I only wish I was):

1. Isabella drops a book on the floor. It hits her toe on the way down. She says, "God Dammit, that hurt"! I confess, she has heard this from me.

2. Isabella drops another book on the floor. It hits the same toe. She says, "God Dammit! That hurt like a Motherfucker"! Hmmm...I am not sure I have said this one in front of the kids...

3. We are eating dinner. I made mashed potatoes. Considering I hate mashed potatoes (unless I am in the last trimester of pregnancy, then I LOVE them), it's unusual for me to make them. Anyway, Isabella takes a bit of the mashed potatoes and says, "Holy Shit! Those are good mashed potatoes"! I consider this praise of the highest caliber.

4. We are watching SpongeBob SquarePants. An everyday occurrence in my house. I know all the words to all the SpongeBob SquarePants songs. My favorite is the "Sweater Song" that SpongeBob sings in the episode where his hat and spatula were featured in an infomercial for the Krusty Krab. Through a series of hilarious foibles, SpongeBob mistakenly thinks that everyone sees him as a local celebrity...So you can see how I love SpongeBob SquarePants so much...It's in keeping with my everyday life. Isabella says, "SpongeBob is one stupid Fucker". Yes, Isabella, yes he is a stupid fucker...But we don't really need to say that out loud. Somethings are better left unsaid. We don't want to hurt SpongeBob's feelings.

5. Isabella also likes to say "shut-up", "stupid", and "crack-head". I can tell you for a fact that I have called both her and her sister not only "crack-heads", but "crack-babies". But I have NEVER called her "stupid", and I mostly only tell her Daddy to "shut-up". And Butters. He gets a whole shit-pile of "shut-ups".

So, anyway...I know your hand is at the ready to speed-dial the Department of Children and Families, but before you do...For every "Holy shit! Shut the fuck up you stupid crack-head motherfucker" there must be a bilionty "I Love You" and "You're So Special"s. The curse of cursing is no matter how innocuous you think it might be, there is always a three year old out there prepared to say the "F-word" over and over and over while you are standing in the line at Target. So I think the lesson here must be, don't cuss in front of kids. I also think this is a great example of the Mother's Curse. No, not a string of expletives, but the curse that every Mother places on their child just before they are about to bear the new generation..."I hope your children turn out to be JUST LIKE YOU". And if Isabella's sheer mastery of profanity tells you anything at all, then my Mother certainly cursed me...Just ask her to tell you the story of me, the custard store and the f-word. Or me, the bald man and the airplane. Or the time we spilt the soda in the elevator....Yah, it's definitely the curse.