Forgetting My Panties

Okay. I am a bit on the ashamed side to actually admit this to you, my friends, and even more so to you, random reader...But sometimes...I forget to wear underwear. I truly, truly forget. It is not that I don't like underwear. In fact, I almost exclusively wear these little numbers appropriately called "Hanky Panky". The Hanky Panky brand makes a multitude of different intimate tops & bottoms, but the very best thing they make is the original thong. This might encite quite a heated debate, between myself and those who prefer the "low-rise" version of the thong. Yes, the low-rise is cool. However, I am at an age where my pants don't end at my butt-crack, so I don't really have to worry about thong exposure. And what's with the whole "muffin-top" thing anyway? Don't you know that it just makes you look fat?

Anyway...The forgetting of the underwear...How does this happen, you might ask? Let me put it simply: Kids. Yes, I am blaming my children for the forgetting of my underpants. That's the kind of Mommy I am. And here is how it happens...I usually wake up (read: am jolted awake by the repetitive poking of my eye from my 3 year old) around 6:30 am. I have to leave the house with the girls NO LATER than 7:30 am to get them to school on time. If you don't have the kids in the school by 7:55 am, you are forced to park your car, and walk the walk-of-shame through the lower school parking lot, into the lobby of the building, where your kids have to wait until assembly is over and the can go on to their classrooms. The entire time they are waiting in the lobby they scowl at you and glare disapprovingly, because you (the parent) are just sooooo embarrassing. So, between 6:30 and 7:30 am I am forced to madly dash though out the house, feeding, dressing, collecting and otherwise preparing the girls for school. I also have to dress, feed and otherwise prepare myself for work. Sometimes, in all of the hullabaloo, I forget to put on my panties. It's really more important to me that the girls have on their underwear...See, for me, it's all about priorities.

Forgetting to wear underwear when I am running errands about town is just a bit of a nuisance, makes you feel a little naughty - like you have a little secret. Forgetting to wear underwear to work however, is no happy accident. I like to rock my sexy secretary look at work. Nice little sweater, nice little skirt, 80-90 mm heels...I digress. The point is, even though that whole look is naughty yet fun, it somehow takes on a borderline pervy feel when you know you don't have on your breeches. I get freaked out that I might pull a Fatal Attraction, a la Sharon Stone, during a meeting. I worry that people will just know that I have forgotten my skivvies...Like it's written on my face or something. I feel naked. Since I work for "whisper-whisper, mumble-mumble", it should be easy enough to mosey over to the intimate department and pick up a new pair of Hanky Panky, purchase them, and shuffle off to my office and slip them on. No one would need to know. Yet, I haven't ever done this...

Sometimes I am an enigma, even to myself. I like to think this just adds to my overall charm, but I am now thinking it makes me seem a little crazy. I'm not crazy, I 'm just tired. And in my exhaustion, I forget to do things, like put on underpants...In the grand scheme of things, though, this doesn't seem like such a big deal. Therefore, I wont let it bother me...for now. So if you see me at work, and I am looking a little sheepish, maybe even a little "frisky", then it looks like my secret is out. It very well might be that I have forgotten my panties, yet again...But don't think, for one moment, you can come up to me and ask me if I am wearing underwear, cause with or without my panties on, I can still totally punch you in the face.