Learn From My Mistakes? No, I Will Not.

One day, I will get it.

One day, when someone tells me a story about their life, a story from a time they were able to learn some very valuable lesson, I will know full well that they are attempting - however feebly - to impart their wisdom to me, and I will get it. Not only will I get it, I will actually follow their sage advice. Sadly, that day is not here yet. It's not here for me, and it's probably not here for you.

It is ironic, then, that I recently gave advice, advice that wasn't heeded, and I had to witness the fall-out from the plugging of the ears and the chanting of "I can't hear you, I can't hear you", and the advice simply falling away. I don't think that I give poor advice...I actually think that I give pretty decent advice. Were it not for my age and relative inexperience, people might take me more seriously when I dole out such nuggets of wisdom...But I think that most people (who really know me) see me repeat the same mistakes over and over and over again, and simply assume that I have no fucking clue what I am talking about. This time, however, I knew exactly what I was talking about.

It's hard to see people you love struggle. It's infuriating to see people you love struggle with things that could have been easier, or even prevented, if they had just listened to your advice. I may sound an awful lot like my Momma right now, but my Momma is a very, very wise woman and she don't fool around. She tells you just what she thinks you should do. And when you don't heed her advice, (which I almost never do) she will never really say "I told you so", but you can see it in her eyes. It's a little twinkle. So, in an effort to atone for all of the lost opportunities to take her advice, I will follow her lead and NOT say "I told you so." You may see the little twinkle in my eye, but it's not the reflection of my self-satisfaction. Because in this case, there is none. Instead, the twinkle is a direct result of a small shard of glass that was embedded in my eye 20 years ago, and has never made it's way to the surface of my cornea. That's what the optometrist
said, you know...that the shard would just make it's way out of my eye one day. Shouldn't ever cause me any problems or any pain. So I ignore it. I follow the advice of my optometrist, and I just let it be. Some things will not be ignored, however, and you can't just wait for them to find their way out on their own, organically. It just never happens without any problems or any pain. And I am sorry for your problems and for your pain. I am sorry things didn't go "as planned", but they never, ever do...And I promise I won't say "I told you so"...Because in this case, I wish I hadn't been able to tell you so in the first place. I wish I didn't have the horrible experience, that you are now going through, to draw advice from. But I did. Now it's over. And it has become just another story from my life that I can use in a feeble attempt to impart some wisdom on another.

I don't learn from my mistakes...So perhaps it is grossly unfair to think that anyone else could or even should. None of us listen. None of us take the advice that is given. We pooh-pooh it like so much leftover Thanksgiving turkey. That is just the way we are. And that is okay. Because when it (whatever it is for you) happens to you, and it's real and it's difficult and it's not just someone else's vignette...Then you get it. And it sucks. Learn from my mistakes? No, I will not...But maybe you can. Maybe not.